Chinese Department of Protecting People from Injurious & Dehabilitating Ideas
Recent news articles suggest that your great country may soon have a number of openings in the 'Department of Protecting People from Injurious & Dehabilitating Ideas'. I would like to throw my name into the ring for a Senior Management position in this department.
Please see my attached resume for a full list of experience & skills but I summarize relevant information here for your convenience.
1) I currently act as admin for my family's home network. Part of my responsibilities include setting access control policy for sites my 3 children are allowed to visit, e.g. no playboy.com until homework is finished etc. I feel confident that this experience, with the appropriate team of underlings in support, will scale up as necessary to support your not insignificant population.
2) I am quite close-minded. New ideas scare me and I generally mitigate my fear by blocking or diminishing them. That this character trait would be beneficial to your department seems clear.
3) My neighbors are Chinese-Canadian and so I have picked up a smattering of Mandarin. Consequently I personally could provide some filtering of web traffic, e.g. for searches of 'Your dog took a crap on my lawn', I am your man.
In closing, I am confident that I can make a significant contribution to keeping your citizens protected from confusing information & ideas - filling any holes left by unnamed companies lacking the necessary world view.
p.s. I enclose $5 to help 'grease the wheels' - I know how 3rd world governments operate.