Open letter to my (lazy ass) neighbours

Dear neighbour, 


Hey no, let me pick that litter up for you. Yes I know it fell out from the garbage cans you placed at the bottom of your driveway 2 days ago and is technically still on your driveway but, still, let me get it. I know you are far too busy being important for such matters - I'm more than happy to help.

Pardon me, what's that? Toilet paper? Sure, here it is. Can I help you with that too?

Sincerely yours

Paul

p.s. I have my dog pee on your lawn.